Tuesday, August 09, 2005


Some genius of design decided to put mirrors on the elevator interiors at Regis. Elevator rides are already so awkward, standing in close quarters with strangers (or worse, slight acquaintances) trying to mind your own business in the thick silence. But Regis elevator rides are even more excruciating because there's no safe place on which to rest your gaze. The entire front of the elevator is mirrored, so you can't look straight ahead or else you might get caught peeping at one of the other passenger's reflections (or vainly studying your own). You either have to stare at your feet or (my preference) the floor ticker. Come on, seven!

After I get off the elevator in the morning I head straight to the ladies' room to wash the bus germs off my hands. The mirror in the ladies' room is horribly unflattering. I guess it's actually the lighting in the bathroom, not the mirror -- but either way, every time I use the rest room I walk away feeling terrible about myself. Are my eyes really that bloodshot and baggy? Do I really have such simultaneously oily and dry skin? Is my make-up really so frightful?

I usually feel ok about the way I look when I leave my bathroom mirror at home in the morning. And I'm decent looking when I come home at night, albeit a tad worn. But at the office I'm confronted with unattractive-me in the ladies' room a good seven or eight times daily. (I drink a lot of water.)

Well, today it occurred to me that maybe the unsightly specter in the Regis bathroom mirror is the real me. Maybe my mirror at home is especially flattering and forgiving and in real life I look like crap.

I feel like there is some life lesson or grand metaphor that I could extract from this, but I'm too upset to think about it, hideous as I am.


Blogger ~Deb said...

Kim! Stop putting yourself down girl! First of all, let me tell you something. I have this "full length" mirror. Yes. It's like a fricken carnival mirror. Where is it? Of course in my bathroom when I get out of the shower. I hear the music from Psycho play every time I get out of the shower. I see it. I see her. I see me. AHHHCKKK! This mirror makes me look short, fat, with lots and lots of lumps and bumps I didn't know about.

Then, I have this 'flattering' mirror in my bedroom that I just adore--hehe... It makes me look like I just got liposuction in between my trip from the bathroom to the bedroom.

Don't let mirrors deceive you... I'm feeling your pain on this post!


August 09, 2005 8:57 PM  
Blogger biff said...

Also, I think people subconsiously modify their expression when they look in the mirror. So you really don't look like what you think you should.

August 10, 2005 12:49 AM  
Blogger hanmee said...

Don't worry about it. I think igots has a point to a certain extent. I think it may have more to do with Regis's affect on your outlook. Perhaps when you are there, you become a sadder/more annoyed shadow of your glorious self because they are sucking the joy out of you, and that is all restored when you return home.

For some reason, the lighting in my bathroom mirrors at HOME must be better than normal. Except for when I'm naked, I tend to think I look better in them. I will be in there washing my hands and glance up and think "hey, I'm not so bad. I'm even cute and/or will be really cute after I finish dropping this weight". Then I go somewhere else and catch a glimpse and am horribly disappointed.

August 10, 2005 5:20 AM  
Blogger S.C. said...

Next time you're in the mirrored elevator, get in an argument with your reflection.

THAT will garuntee you have as much personal space as you need on future rides...

August 10, 2005 6:46 AM  
Blogger Puerto Rican Angel said...

Girl I know exactly how you feel, but don't let that get you down. Everyone goes through that feeling. Am I really that pale? Damn I look sick! None of that matters. Stay positive.

August 10, 2005 7:50 AM  
Blogger FreakinRican said...

No worries Kim, that mirror at work is full of shit. I think the work elves purposely come in and fuck up the lighting and angels of the mirrors so you just go back to your desk as quick as possible and not spend time being unproductive. Although if I found myself repulsive I would hardly be productive. Just a thought!

August 10, 2005 8:18 AM  
Blogger Croaker said...

You got to learn not to actually look in the mirror. I can shave my face and still not register actually having LOOKED at myself in the mirror.

August 10, 2005 8:43 AM  
Blogger Kim Plaintive said...

Thanks for all the kind comments everyone. I'm going to stop being melodramatic now -- I know there are bigger problems in the world.

By the way, if you spammers keep leaving comments on my blog I'm just going to keep deleting them...and then I'll find you and kick your asses.

August 10, 2005 9:03 AM  
Blogger Tanisha said...

Girl you know you ar FAB-ulous.. Don't get it twisted.. hehehe..

August 10, 2005 9:34 AM  
Anonymous Camille said...


I don't know WHAT you look like. But for Kryste sake you were hit on by a man at the bus stop. (see archives) Now, that HAS to count for something.


August 10, 2005 9:47 AM  
Blogger Olivia said...

We always look better in domestic lighting - fluorescent office lighting is eeeeeevil.

Hehe, ~Deb, I too have a full-length mirror (landlady's choice) and am forced to see myself when I get into and out of the tub. The other day I was so distracted by my reflection, I caught my knee on the corner of the wall. Ugly bruise.

August 10, 2005 9:47 AM  
Blogger Spexial said...

don't let that get you down..we all have our days...you are not alone!

August 10, 2005 9:57 AM  
Blogger shell said...

I would just blame it on the mirror. Girl, you're gorgeous and you know it! You can just as Quint if you don't believe me. :)

August 10, 2005 12:49 PM  
Blogger Melissa said...

Yes, I hate work mirrors - I think it is more the fluorescent lighting more than anything. Just concentrate on something else instead of looking into the mirror, that's what I do! :)

August 10, 2005 2:00 PM  
Blogger JLR said...

Wait--did I write this? This is so me! Ugh--I hate mirrored elevators (I, too, usually stare at the floor ticker), and I hate public restroom lighting. Man, that place just doesn't have anything going for it!

August 10, 2005 3:43 PM  
Blogger Stephane King said...

kim, you could be my baby momma if quint think you ugly too!

August 10, 2005 4:04 PM  
Blogger Alistair! said...

the bosses use garish flourescent light in work restrooms to purposefully make employees self-conscious before the beginning of the working day, so they are easier to control.

nice blog by the way.

August 10, 2005 6:30 PM  
Anonymous Whip Cracker said...

The comment above mine is almost correct. Compare the ambiance of your favorite bar to that of work. One uses darkened color to ease your senses and allow you to forget yourself for a few hours. The bright, crisp atmosphere at work is meant to have the opposite effect.

It's not that we want to "control you" by lowering your self image, we just want you paying attention and working.

On a personal level, you look bad in bright light because we all do. The human face should only be seen in so much detail. That's why people are better looking when you're too drunk to notice the little things about them.

Anyway, how about getting some work done at work?

August 10, 2005 10:04 PM  
Blogger allison said...

i seriously doubt your hideous.......the lighting at the office is always different then the lighting at home.

I go through this all the time

August 10, 2005 10:08 PM  

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