Wednesday, August 10, 2005

Crash Landing from Office Space

I suddenly realized that school is starting really soon. The good thing about temping is that you don't have to give notice.

So at the end of the day I shook hands with Bryan the wedding interrupter and hugged Amber, promising to keep in touch. Brent, the cute white boy who sits next to Amber, gave me a good-luck-in-school cookie. And then I walked down the funky hall of Regis for the last time, a ream of paper under my jacket and that crazy guy's Swingline in my purse. (No, I'm just kidding about the stapler. I did look for it on his desk but couldn't find it -- that fool keeps it on lockdown or something.)

As I waited for the bus, my stomach started to feel weird (and not from Brent's cookie). I realized that I'd just finished my last day of "work" for a long time. I am suddenly terrified about going back to school. I have no idea if I will like it at all. I have no idea if I even remember how to do school. I graduated a year early from undergrad because I was so anxious to get out -- why am I going back? The bus pulled up.

There are these two girls I usually see on my ride home who sit in two separate rows but always spend the whole ride chatting with each other. Yesterday I sat in the empty seat next to the more talkative one and smiled politely before opening my book (I know, I've been reading it for like a month and I can't get through it -- that doesn't bode well for school). The two girls saw my book and asked if I was a student. Turns out they are both studying to be medical technicians. Their eyes widened when I answered their question about how long I'd be in law school. Then they asked how much money lawyers make. I could only reply, "a lot."

We ended up chatting on and off for the rest of the bus ride -- about their babies, about the hourly wage they could expect to make when they get certified, about R. Kelly's parts six through ten. It was the first good bus ride I'd had.

Well, today I got on the bus and there were hardly any seats left. I saw my two buddies near the back -- both had empty seats next to them. So what did I do? I sat myself in one of the seats up front reserved for the elderly.

I felt immediate regret -- I wanted to have sat with the girls. They must have seen me board the bus, even though I had shyly avoided looking directly at them. I started glancing over in their direction, figuring that I would catch their attention and then give the "ohhh hi, I didn't see you there" wave. But neither of them looked over.

They got off at their stop and didn't notice my last frantic attempt at eye contact. I'll never see them again.

I'm worried about making friends at school. These past few weeks in the blogosphere have made me feel like one of the borderline cool kids -- I feel so popular when people leave comments and even come back on a regular basis. But something about my online charm gets lost in translation when I'm away from the keyboard.


Blogger piu piu said...

i got really scared about going back to do my MA, and even convinced myself I didnt wnat to. bad idea. the most important thing is to relax and chill and try make some friends first off. Having friends, or at least people u like and can moan to, is SO important! it makes everything seem less scary. so my advice is chill with the work when u get there, and concentrate on finding some cool people to make ur life more bearable (i wish i had done that, took me nearly a yaer to make proper friends on my 2 yr MA)

August 11, 2005 5:15 AM  
Blogger LEGALSCHMEGAL said...

Hey Kim!

I can totally relate. I am not the best at making friends and I am very concerned that everyone in my law school class will hate me! However, the odds are for us, not against us that with the stress and new experiences of law school, we will bond with at least a few people. And, worse comes to worse, we can always bitch with other law school bloggers! Best of luck!

August 11, 2005 6:29 AM  
Blogger S.C. said...

I don't know if it's because you're popular or anything.

I mean, *I* only leave comments because I'm stalking you. ;)

August 11, 2005 6:38 AM  
Blogger FreakinRican said...

NO worries Kim. Everyone in law school is like borderline cool kids since we are all dorks in our own way. I mean at least half the bloggers on my roll are either newly minted attorneys or law students. Everyone will be in the same boat you are. As long as you find the one guy/girl that knows how to get down and party (or drink in the middle of class like I did) you'll be fine!

August 11, 2005 7:55 AM  
Blogger LisaBinDaCity said...

I know what you mean about feeling like a blog cool kid. But my dear, if you can do it in blogland, you can do it in real life too!!!

August 11, 2005 8:25 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

"Everyone in law school is like borderline cool kids since we are all dorks in our own way." Correction: almost everyone in law school IS a dork, and not in his own way. Seriously, you should have no problem making friends. There will be a lot of students who have worked before law school, and I'm not sure where you're going to law school, but at Texas, the Thurgood Marshall Law Society is a great place to make friends. The one thing about law school is that many of the people you meet will have NO social skills. So, don't be surprised when someone blows through a door pushing you out of your way. I suppose being from NYC, you can hang just fine with that type. It is EXTREMELY easy to meet people because everyone is just as nervous and everyone is in the same boat. You'll do great - just remember to have some fun on what will feel like a part-time job/vacation for the first month or so before it gets closer to exam time. Good luck!

August 11, 2005 8:27 AM  
Blogger Melissa said...

Any major life change like that can be a really scary thing. But the good news is that everyone else is in the same boat as you and you are bound to make friends in classes if nothing else as study buddies and then maybe a more permanent friendship. The other GREAT news is that you will be studying on a beautiful campus in a WONDERFUL and beautiful place and if things get bad, you can always head to the beach and relax! :) So try to relax and get excited because this is just the beginning of the rest of your life.

August 11, 2005 9:08 AM  
Anonymous Camille said...

well KP, hopefully we'll run into eacother when u come to the West. I'm down in San Diego - but much of my time is spent in or around LA.

you'll be fine. when the school work kicks in you'll have no time to even concern yourself with that. plus, the sun shines here, even at nite -- and we tan in class -- so everyone's happy all the time. so you'll make LOTS of friends!

lol @ misconceptions of California.

August 11, 2005 10:50 AM  
Blogger Mrs Gorilla said...

I think you will finally find your 'clique' at law school. You will finally be around people who are just as or even more awkward than you. Or was that me, starting my time at Professional Band Geek School? Whatever--you have a killer sense of humor, and will easily be the coolest kid in class. Just imagine typing everything you say first, and you'll be fine. =)

August 11, 2005 12:09 PM  
Blogger Croaker said...

I hear you Kim, don't expect to get off that easy. We better her some good tales from law school too. Although I have a friend also attending law school and her time is very limited. Good Luck and continue to check the blogosphere.

August 11, 2005 12:16 PM  
Blogger JLR said...

Don't worry. There's a good chance that you'll hate law school (lots of people do), but you'll meet some amazing people. It took me awhile to find people that I really clicked with, but the people I've met there will be my friends for life. It's a terrifying experience that almost no one outside of law school will understand. Good luck! And don't forget to blog about it. Oh, the people you'll meet. I can't wait to hear you describe them.

August 11, 2005 1:03 PM  
Blogger Maglet said...

I hear you loud and clear. I felt that way this past year when I started school again (undergrad--dropped out years ago, just now going back after my kids are older). You'll do fine in school, I'm sure. Just found your blog a couple days ago--it's very witty! You're bookmarked. :o)

August 11, 2005 1:09 PM  
Blogger Melissa said...

FYI, I don't have misconceptions of California. I actually have a good friend that has gotten his bachelor's and master's degree and is now working on his PhD from the same school that KP is going to law school at. I have visited Palo Alto and the campus with him, and I happen to think it is a beautiful campus and area to live. And being that I'm from Florida, I know how therapeutic it is to have access to a beach occasionally. That's all I was saying....

August 11, 2005 1:13 PM  
Blogger Stephane King said...

Lol - you are popular Kim :)

August 11, 2005 1:55 PM  
Blogger sJea said...

that was VERY honest writing...i'm officially touched...

August 11, 2005 2:00 PM  
Blogger shell said...

Pardon me - is this the Kim Plaintive Fan Club Meeting? ;)

You'll be just fine. You don't have to have magical powers to make friends in law school.

Legalschmegal mentioned that the stress will help people bond. It's true! Most of my college pals I've known them from engineering days. And believe me, engineers bitch a lot about all sort of things. Misery loves company - keep that in mind.

On the other hand, there will be happy people too. You'll find those people at clubs & associations. I'm in one of the student associations right now, and I love it. You'll find more friendly faces at law schools than previously anticipated. Really!

Worst comes to worst, bring Quint along and have him do street stunts or stand-up comedy. That ought to turn some heads. :D J/K

Good luck, enjoy, and have fun!

August 11, 2005 6:16 PM  
Blogger Puerto Rican Angel said...

You know what Kim You shouldn't let this get you down. Just be yourself and relax. If you try too hard to make friends then you might seem nervous and desperate. (Not saying that you are but you know what I mean.)

August 11, 2005 10:30 PM  
Blogger ~Deb said...

Hey Kim,

Sometimes our personality online and on text, can differ from what we are in 'real life'. The key is, you have it in you to make friends, and to make good points, and above all, you make people laugh. I know, because you have made me laugh. Never be ashamed to make a new friend. What's the worse thing that can happen?

You have to make it happen. You have to 'go out there' and get your friends. Unfortunately, friends sometimes don't flock to us, as much as we want them to; especially if you are on the introverted side- (which seems so off from what I read on your blogs) you can have difficulties in that area.

You have nothing to lose, you're smart, intelligent and witty. Go out and get them! Good luck with school. We make things much bigger in our heads, and give ourselves anxiety over something that was not that bad anyway.

All the best to you- don't forget to blog girl! You got fans!

August 12, 2005 1:27 PM  
Blogger The Ticked Off Ohioan said...

Not to be a downer but a word about law school... If you hate it, it is ok to quit. Do not suffer through something you hate and accumulate massive debt just because you don't want to be labled "a quitter."

My boyfriend, Mr. Ticked Off Ohioan, realized he didn't like the law profession in law school, but stuck it out and practiced for all of 9 months. Now he's back in the field he worked in before law school and has a shitload of student loan debt. Now had I known him then, I would have told him what I told you above: quit if you don't like it!!!

Hopefully you'll love law school and go on to be a very successful attorney. Best of luck to you and don't abandon your blog; you make me laugh during my boring-assed days at work!

August 15, 2005 3:17 PM  

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